I'm sure all of you are wondering why a dashing, fashion-conscious man like myself would voluntarily suit up in this ever-so-attractive coverall. The answer to your very appropriate concerns? EPA Training.
Two hours of online videos and another three of painters' tape, caution signs, and heavy-duty plastic, and yours truly is hereby certified and qualified to deal with lead dust—an inevitable side effect of prepping certain old homes to be painted.
So, in essence, think of it like a superhero costume, and me as the scourge of lead—devoted protector of the elderly, pregnant women, and children under six.
Oh yeah.
It's a tough job (especially since I defend a very un-dateable demographic), but rest assured oh Fayetteville, that the threat of lead-based paint, which has been haunting you since the EPA began to distribute those scare pamphlets in April—or perhaps only since you started reading this blog post—shall be vanquished by my containment-establishing, trash-double-bagging awesomeness.
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